I realize as I’m posting this that our blog jumped from engagement, to almost one year post nuptials.
***Small recap- we got married on 11/27/15- We had the best time with our friends and family. We honeymooned in Jamaica and it was paradise. We came home and fast-forward, here we are now. I promise to post more often. I love to write and hopefully you love to read what I write, so it’s a win-win, right?***
As we approach the one-year benchmark in our marriage, I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on how we did. If there was a marriage competition and we were graded on various aspects such as compromise, or discussing finances, how would we measure up? Would we get a gold star and a pat on the head, or would we get sent to the Principal’s office with a big F-U? I hope we aren’t that bad!
Kevin is my very best friend in the world. He isn’t perfect, not even close. But he has his strengths and his weaknesses. What God knew when he picked Kevin for me, was that he would be strong in the areas where I am not and he would be weak in the areas where I am strong. God knew that it was this man that would lead the life of our family, be my rock and provide a balance to keep us steady. God understands balance better than any person and it’s in his timing that things works out to a peaceful resolve. Isaiah 40:12 says, “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the Earth by the measure, and weighed the mountains in a balance and the hills in a pair of scales?” God did all that and he did it perfectly, so it should come as no surprise that he aligned my stars to meet this crazy cute guy that would be the ebb to my flow.
This year has presented us challenges. Big challenges. We are a work in progress and we will be a work in progress until we are celebrating together in our super awesome golden palace in the sky. But for now, our life here together is just as it should be. There have been laughs, struggles, conversations, debates, disagreements, arguments, cold shoulders, kisses, loves and time spent together filled with tears and filled with joy. This is life. It can’t be any more real than anything we’ve experienced.
I consistently seek self improvement outside of Kevin and outside of our marriage. I’ve struggled this year to be a better person. Marriage has a funny way of outing your most unattractive qualities. It’s like a dirty magnet, and our bad attitudes are the metal shavings. My new years resolution was to go with the flow, not take things so seriously and to work on having a more positive attitude. Let me tell you, this was not easy. I am an uptight control freak who can be opinionated and angers easily. I have attitude and go from hot to cold in a second. I am not passive aggressive and I will tell you how I feel. The list goes on and on, but these are my admissions of areas where I knew I was failing and bringing down our dynamic. Our dynamic is something I’m incredibly proud of, so to know I was putting this into jeopardy really scared me and made me really sad. Me? Guilty? Yup. We just click and that’s something I will tell anyone who will listen. We’re on the same page and we got married because we welcomed the challenge of ‘till death do us part. We affectionately refer to ourselves as a “unit.” “You jump I jump, right?” Exactly. But we are a unit because we fight for it. Because we communicate ad nauseum and we say the hard things that need to be said. Because we don’t just work on our marriage from a collective standpoint, but also an individual one. We are still our own selves, after all, and we bring our unique sets of qualities to the table and it’s this puzzle that marriage works to put together in just the right fit.
I say all of this for me and for us, but for others who we cherish and we ask to hold us accountable in our daily walk together. We admit that we aren’t perfect and that our smiles and pictures on Facebook are shrouded by sadness sometimes. But when I look back at our year, we wouldn’t be the people we are without marriage. We are better people because we got married and because we’ve had to fight so much harder at creating a new environment where we live as a unit. I am his, and he is mine and as difficult as things can be, the reward is so great.
We will be celebrating our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife and first wedding anniversary in the vibrant city, Denver Colorado.